We will always have Paris!

I needed a coat. Silly, silly me, needing a coat in MAY. Dug around the tank tops, shorts and flip flops before finally asking where the coats might be.

This whole seasons thing that the stores have going on really cracks me up. Here in Seattle it is cold. Cold and Rainy. Cold and Rainy and Windy. I don't see anyone in shorts, except for joggers and they don't count. I don't see anyone in flip flops or tank tops. I see sweatshirts, snow boots, mittens, hats, basically every cold weather item is still being worn here. Not according to the mall. It is summer people! Get on your shorts and stop being such cry babies about the weather.

Me needing a coat was met with blank stares and disbelief. What a stupid planner I was to actual want to buy a coat in May. The salesperson pulled out the few they had in stock and handed them to me. I obediently trotted off to the dressing room. Good Lord, it was like I had put on a pup tent. Could these coats have been any bigger? The neck was nice and fitted but other than that I could have 4 other people in here with me. Hell, break out the hibachi and call it a party! We are all nicely covered from the weather.

I asked for something a little more fitted. More of the single family home as opposed to the condo building. Lovely sales girl helper brought in a few more choices. Something I was pretty sure was a rug with a rip in it for your head. Something with fringe. Some plaid items, just to round out the living hell shopping experience I was on. And a black coat.

Plain and black. With one button. Simple. I never in a million years would have picked this up to try on. It was my last option before buying the condo coat, so I put it on. It was gorgeous! Absolutely gorgeous! I felt like Audrey Hepburn. I twirled around and it was just as awesome from the back as from the front. The one button was perfect. It was fitted in the right areas and flowed beautifully. It had 3/4 sleeves and two lovely pockets. I felt like immediately taking off for Paris and meeting some debonair french man. I wouldn't know what he was saying, he wouldn't know what I was saying but we would both be so in love with the pretty coat that we would fall instantly in love, for two days and then have a sad scene in the airport. I would pantomime that I couldn't stay, he would pantomime his heart breaking and I would dash up the runway to make my flight, the lovely black coat flowing behind me, I would turn and say "We shall always have Paris and a little black coat."

The scenario would all come true with the little black, perfect, wonderful coat. I took it off and flipped over the price tag.

$1200.00! The scenario burst, the beautiful french man turned out to be a gnome, my flight was delayed, and I was hung up in the security checkpoint. Poof! Gone.

I looked at the condo coat. I looked at the GiGi coat (I had named it that in honor of Paris). I stared at the price tag. Could I get my kidney out and sell it right from the dressing room? Than I thought, what if I do something truly evil, diabolical even. Buy it, wear it, return it. I see this done on movies and TV shows. Is it wrong? I bought the coat. I'm going to take a chance on having bad karma. I'm going to wear it and return it.

If the Paris dream comes true though, all bets are off about returning it.