Relationships

I am in a relationship.

When I was younger, I used to dream about a guy that would make my heart beat faster, make my thoughts all steamy, make me draw little hearts on my pee-chee with our initials inside. I never found that, even when I was married my heart never beat faster and I am pretty sure I never drew a heart.

Now, finally, I have that. Finished pressure washing the deck, love cursed through my veins. New windows installed, I had the vapors and needed to lie down. The words "French Drain" mean more to me than the words "I will love you forever." I have dreams that involve driveway sealer that I swear are racy and frankly make my heart beat faster.

The words "I will start and finish in three days time" are equal to a three-carat diamond. The newly trimmed trees look like filet mignon without the calories. I draw little hearts with tile layouts in them. I look at new toilets and plan how to ask it for a date, a date with my house, a full time, lasting relationship. Is it appropriate to send out cards announcing the new relationship or is it too early still?

I know the people at the Home Depot store on a first name basis and will name my next pet "Depot", or maybe myself, still unclear about that. I can daydream for hours in the caulking aisle. I do a happy dance going down the nail/screw section. Power tools make me drool. Don't even mention the words "electrical outside outlet" unless you want to see a middle-aged woman cry in joy.

Yep, this relationship is working out just dandy. Home repair relationships are the best.

Oh, and the guy I now see, pretty wonderful as well.

Here I am

Home repair has been my nightmare of choice lately.

I fix one thing, three more break. I can't keep up with the calls to the repair men without little yellow post-it notes stuck over me like a Pin the tail on the Donkey game.

The fire place now works, the shower still a no go. Most of the deck is pressure washed, stained, not so much. Tree in backyard is trimmed, trees in front yard run amok. New windows are being installed today, one giant bedroom window broke and now vacuuming will ensue.

*sigh*

Money flies out of my checking account when I am not looking, and probably even as I watch, which I don't.

Olive has hip dysplasia and requires constant meds along with therapy. The bills come and go. More bills come and these stay awhile, like dead fish.

And yet with all the chaos, I remain happy. Which surprises me to no end. How can I be happy when I seem to be circling around a drain? Is a garbage disposal in my future? Yet, I am happy. Not like winning the lottery, beautiful new purse, or sunny, warm day happy but still a feeling of contentment resides with me.

Next month it will be one year since I moved to this little town. I miss Seattle, more than I thought I would and while I enjoy Seaside, I don't believe this is where I will end up. I think that is what makes me happy, that change no longer seems so scary, so hard. Instead it seems exciting and the possibilities remain open because I remain open. I like that - I LOVE that.

One thing is for certain though, the next house will have new windows that I do not have to install.