I hate, HATE Web MD!

Web MD can suck it.

My son absolutely loves Web MD, I absolutely hate Web MD.

I see the commercials every now and then, with the smiling people talking about their symptoms and how helpful this site has been. So humorous, talking about carpal tunnel syndrome and pregnancy. So maybe the site is helpful, IF YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE!

Yet, at our house, the first sign that anyone is sick, that kid of mine whips out his phone and brings up the little person. Then proceeds to point out the symptoms, that generally could really be anything. A cold, a runny nose, just plain shut-up already winter blues, not enough sleep because the homework load is killing me this year illness, or the one that I know I have on a daily basis, eighteen year olds are a boatload of work.

Is that what I end up having? NO, IT IS NOT! I have some sort of cancer.

Not just any cancer, mind you, fatal cancer, get your butt to the doctor right this very minute cancer.

Or last week I had a runny nose. I'm thinking, cold. Stupid, stupid me! The kid runs right down and exclaims "I have nose polyps." Good Lord, what the hell are NOSE POLYPS. He shows me the results of his on line exam of my symptoms and I need to get my ass to the doctor RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE. I guess nose polyps are that exciting.

I do not go, much to the disgust of my kid, who now is planning my funeral in his head and how he will explain to all the gatherers that he told me to go to the doctor for my nose polyps and I JUST DID NOT LISTEN AND NOW I AM DEAD!

The kid uses this application for everything and it very well may be the death of me. A simple leg cramp is a blood clot that is traveling at the speed of light to his brain. Biting his lip is cancer of the soft tissue and am I happy now that his lips will fall off. A stomach ache is a perforated spleen and he may very well need me to rush him to emergency surgery.

This kid of mine is a hypochondriac and Web MD is not making it very easy on me. Too much information in the hands of eighteen year olds is dangerous. Very, very dangerous! Also, annoying.

Now I am going to go and lay down for I have a headache. Good to know, that my kid thinks I have brain cancer and is planning the division of my estate. Thank You, Web MD! You so rock!