Be Kind

To Thine Own Self
Be Kind

I saw these words yesterday and they really hit home for me. In my day to day life, I tend to be harsher with myself than with anyone else.

Like most women, I want it all. To be a good mom, to be in shape, to be kind and thoughtful, to be intelligent, to remain on top of stuff, to be a good person. Every day I fall a little short in one area or another.

Last week was a very bad week for me. I have no idea why. Things seemed impossible. I couldn't find peace no matter how hard I searched. I had to have a bunch of tests run and waiting for the results were nerve-wracking, to say the least. My son was having some medical problems as well and I felt that it was too much. I couldn't handle it, at all.

In the last few months, I have had to reach out to all sorts of people. I needed support and help. I was met with kind, compassionate people. People I could call whenever I needed a helping hand. My sister alone has spent more hours on the phone with me than any sister should have too. My friends have delayed their own family life to help with mine.

I didn't feel that I should ask again. So I tried to handle it on my own. I failed. But now I recognize the times I need more support. So I reached out again, and again I was met with kindness and warmth and help. Someone walked with me through a very hard week and everything turned out well.

But I judged myself critically and harshly. I refused to let myself off of the hook for being unable to handle the situations. My mind went over and over my failures, and there were many. I just kept listing them, again and again.

The thing with big life altering changes, is the fact that you have to continue to change. Day after day after day. The changes get easier because you build confidence in your own abilities to handle what is thrown at you. But some days you have to do the change all over again. The same one you already did and you are tired of that change. Tired that every day is yet another thing you need to do.

It was easier this time. Easier to recognize I needed help. Easier to recognize that I am doing a great job. Easier to recognize that I have a lot to handle. Easier to recognize that the last three months have proven I am a strong and capable woman. Easier to recognize the good in myself.

So, while I will let the world judge me, I will not. I will treat myself with kindness, compassion, and love.

And I hope you will judge yourself the same way.