I skipped Collectible Friday and let's just say it was because yesterday was "Stay off your computer day." That sounds like I actually had a plan for the day and stuck to it, as opposed to the damn day just spun out of control and I was too frazzled to care.
Today lets just have random thoughts that are living in my head at this exact moment.
My car is back! And lets just say why in the hell do they give you estimates if they plan to just blow by the estimates and reside in the YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! price range. So after selling the kid, the dog, and half of my bodily organs, we now own a car. A running car I hope.
Where is Spring? Where is anything besides bitter cold, pouring rain, wind, and just the ugliest weather EVER. I feel like why even get out of bed. I shower, put on make-up, do my hair, wear my cute shoes, open my front door and receive a face full of water. Close the door. Trudge back upstairs, dripping, and start all over again. Remove make-up, put hair in a bun, put on industrial strength waffle stomper shoes and head out. Really, why bother.
Why does waxing feel like I am being burned alive? I'm not sure which is worse the hot, molten lava wax, or those small but incredibly deadly tweezers. Good Lord, those tweezers hurt. Yank, Yank, Yank. I cringe just remembering. Then cover me in boiling oil, add tape, pat down, grab and Yank off! Oh, Sure, today I look fine and am glad I did it, but yesterday I was learning some new swear words. Went to lunch with the kid afterwards, who stated I had a very red face. All I could think about was you wouldn't be red if you had just gone through what I did, You would be DEAD. Being that guys are giant babies about pain. I just smiled.
Low Flow Toilets. The logic is seriously lost on me. How do you save water if the tissue you just took your eye make-up off with, needs four separate flushes to even attempt to go down the drain? Last week I made the mistake of trying to flush two tissues and a cotton ball. I paid for my error with a date with a plunger. I know, you are thinking "What a fun house you have. You truly are living a life dreams are made of. "
So there ya go! Random bits of excitement in this life I lead. Today I need to get ink for the printer. Pay bills. Wash clothes. The fun never stops.
Showing posts with label waxing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waxing. Show all posts
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wax on, Wax off
Whoo-Hoo! Today is the day of pain, also known as Wednesday.
So today was the second time for my eyebrow waxing and I have to say it went better than I expected. Both eyes did not squint and neither of them tried to vacate my face. So I consider that a success.
For the bikini waxing I had no frame of reference and the friends I had talked to all had different feelings about it. It is a lot like mammograms. The first time you go you are shocked that they can actually be squished that far down and still return to shape. It is like you have had way too much to drink and are having a grope fest with a machine and the lovely assistant. She pushes and pushes your breast on the glass plate, pushes the top down and announces you are not to breathe. No problem, I will just stand on my tippy toes and wear this giant ton of machinery on my breast. Absolutely fabulous.
Now at the ripe age of 45, I am a pro at the mammograms but some of my friends quake in fear and will cancel the appointment repeatedly. Bikini waxing is like that. Some friends said it was horrible pain, just like labor I was told. Some friends could dip their entire body in hot wax and rip off the tape without a flinch. I found it easier than my eyebrows. Of course, I did hiss and one time I almost ripped the technician's arm off of her body. Still I was able to finish, so I'm going with what a successful woman I am!
But for the second time in two days, while I was explaining my relationship status, I was told the same thing. "But you are gorgeous!" Very nice thing to be told. Both times I have said thank you and continued with the conversation. Today though I paused after she said it, because it seemed that if I was unattractive this would be an OK scenario. That unattractive people somehow deserve what happens to them and attractive people do not. Who picks who is attractive and who is not? Society? The media? It doesn't ring true to me. This didn't happen to me because I was pretty or not pretty enough as the case may be. This happened to me because someone was unfulfilled in their own life and the grass looked greener outside this marriage.
My outside appearance has nothing to do with the person I am. Sure I want to look good and I work hard at it. I think everyone works hard at it. But I like the person I am inside more than I did before and that is what counts in my book.
So the day of pain ends on a high note. I am hairless. I am learning how to make a martini. I have a new Robert B. Parker book. Success!
So today was the second time for my eyebrow waxing and I have to say it went better than I expected. Both eyes did not squint and neither of them tried to vacate my face. So I consider that a success.
For the bikini waxing I had no frame of reference and the friends I had talked to all had different feelings about it. It is a lot like mammograms. The first time you go you are shocked that they can actually be squished that far down and still return to shape. It is like you have had way too much to drink and are having a grope fest with a machine and the lovely assistant. She pushes and pushes your breast on the glass plate, pushes the top down and announces you are not to breathe. No problem, I will just stand on my tippy toes and wear this giant ton of machinery on my breast. Absolutely fabulous.
Now at the ripe age of 45, I am a pro at the mammograms but some of my friends quake in fear and will cancel the appointment repeatedly. Bikini waxing is like that. Some friends said it was horrible pain, just like labor I was told. Some friends could dip their entire body in hot wax and rip off the tape without a flinch. I found it easier than my eyebrows. Of course, I did hiss and one time I almost ripped the technician's arm off of her body. Still I was able to finish, so I'm going with what a successful woman I am!
But for the second time in two days, while I was explaining my relationship status, I was told the same thing. "But you are gorgeous!" Very nice thing to be told. Both times I have said thank you and continued with the conversation. Today though I paused after she said it, because it seemed that if I was unattractive this would be an OK scenario. That unattractive people somehow deserve what happens to them and attractive people do not. Who picks who is attractive and who is not? Society? The media? It doesn't ring true to me. This didn't happen to me because I was pretty or not pretty enough as the case may be. This happened to me because someone was unfulfilled in their own life and the grass looked greener outside this marriage.
My outside appearance has nothing to do with the person I am. Sure I want to look good and I work hard at it. I think everyone works hard at it. But I like the person I am inside more than I did before and that is what counts in my book.
So the day of pain ends on a high note. I am hairless. I am learning how to make a martini. I have a new Robert B. Parker book. Success!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Are those really your eyebrows?
Wednesday's are my day of pain.
All the things that are needed to keep me upright, healthy and happy are all scheduled for the middle of the week. Not like exercise, which I do every day but waxing, eye exams, doctor's appointments, therapy, those kind of things. Painful things, you know women things.
Over the weekend I had stopped into a makeup store to have a lesson (yet again!) on how to apply eyeliner. I am so happy for the people I see walking down the street with perfectly drawn lines. I on the other hand, look like I either put it on in the dark, or that drawing a straight line is not something I have achieved. One eye looks fine, the other just looks scary. So during the lesson, the helpful salesgirl suggested I have my eyebrows shaped into an arch a little bit more. I have never gone the waxing on the eyebrows before and after leaving the store, with fantastic eyes that I really have no chance of ever duplicating on my own, I made the appointment. Yesterday was the day.
How hard could this be? I laid down on the table, opened my eyes and was laughing and talking with the gal while she applied the wax. The first tape removal, not bad. The second tape removal, I was pretty sure my entire eye lid was gone. The left eye was wondering what the hell had just happened, which made the right eye pretty sure it was not going to happen over there. I couldn't keep the eye open to save my life. Stop Squinting! over and over the gal told me, and I tried, really I did. Finally, she just yanked and then yanked once more, and then tweezed. I was beginning to wonder how I had survived all these years with this amount of eyebrows. Maybe I should have just braided them and called it a day. After it was over, she handed me the mirror so I could see the new, very thin, very arched, brows. Sure somewhere in the redness, the brows were there. The gal did say I was pretty red and it would subside in an hour or so. It is now this morning, still red, still swollen, still look like I am perpetually surprised. But the brows do look arched, hurray!
I made the next appointment for 4 weeks and just to add to the pure joy of my Wednesday's, have added a bikini wax. Being a woman is not for sissies
Wednesday's will from now on be the day of pain and the night of Margaritas.
All the things that are needed to keep me upright, healthy and happy are all scheduled for the middle of the week. Not like exercise, which I do every day but waxing, eye exams, doctor's appointments, therapy, those kind of things. Painful things, you know women things.
Over the weekend I had stopped into a makeup store to have a lesson (yet again!) on how to apply eyeliner. I am so happy for the people I see walking down the street with perfectly drawn lines. I on the other hand, look like I either put it on in the dark, or that drawing a straight line is not something I have achieved. One eye looks fine, the other just looks scary. So during the lesson, the helpful salesgirl suggested I have my eyebrows shaped into an arch a little bit more. I have never gone the waxing on the eyebrows before and after leaving the store, with fantastic eyes that I really have no chance of ever duplicating on my own, I made the appointment. Yesterday was the day.
How hard could this be? I laid down on the table, opened my eyes and was laughing and talking with the gal while she applied the wax. The first tape removal, not bad. The second tape removal, I was pretty sure my entire eye lid was gone. The left eye was wondering what the hell had just happened, which made the right eye pretty sure it was not going to happen over there. I couldn't keep the eye open to save my life. Stop Squinting! over and over the gal told me, and I tried, really I did. Finally, she just yanked and then yanked once more, and then tweezed. I was beginning to wonder how I had survived all these years with this amount of eyebrows. Maybe I should have just braided them and called it a day. After it was over, she handed me the mirror so I could see the new, very thin, very arched, brows. Sure somewhere in the redness, the brows were there. The gal did say I was pretty red and it would subside in an hour or so. It is now this morning, still red, still swollen, still look like I am perpetually surprised. But the brows do look arched, hurray!
I made the next appointment for 4 weeks and just to add to the pure joy of my Wednesday's, have added a bikini wax. Being a woman is not for sissies
Wednesday's will from now on be the day of pain and the night of Margaritas.
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