Fun facts

Random fun facts of my life these days.

The shoe has decided to grace my life with its presence. I thank the home for returning my shoe right before the 40 days and 40 nights of horrible rain we are having arrived. I really needed it to start building my ark and getting ready for the swarm of locusts that I expect will also show up sometime soon.

My I-phone has decided to speak German and only German. No other languages shall be accepted. What happens if I don't speak German? Nothing. It is trying to teach me a lesson in how pissed off can one person get before they huck the phone into the ocean. What is has taught me is that apple SUCKS and I will never update my I-phone again.

Olive has learned to get into my bed. My high four poster beautiful linen covered sanctuary. I now may or may not be missing a kidney. Also, I will never sleep as deeply as I once did before 68 lbs of dog landed directly on my middle. In the dark. In the middle of the night. Totally unannounced and frankly, unwanted.

My garage has flooded.

My windshield wipers are broken on my car and my model of Range Rover is the ONLY year you need to have a service man put them on. I am number 62 on the wait list and scheduled for the first part of July. That is SO helpful.

I have had to touch goo to unplug the storm drain in front of my home. Of course, I waited until my driveway had flooded with enough pebbles and sand that I could easily open my own gravel pit. Funny enough, I thought the city took care of their own storm drains. Turns out, NO.

The push broom I own has the broom part but no handle. How exactly do you lose the handle to a broom?

I hope everyone is having as much fun in their day to day lives as I am.

Random bits of life

I skipped Collectible Friday and let's just say it was because yesterday was "Stay off your computer day." That sounds like I actually had a plan for the day and stuck to it, as opposed to the damn day just spun out of control and I was too frazzled to care.

Today lets just have random thoughts that are living in my head at this exact moment.

My car is back! And lets just say why in the hell do they give you estimates if they plan to just blow by the estimates and reside in the YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! price range. So after selling the kid, the dog, and half of my bodily organs, we now own a car. A running car I hope.

Where is Spring? Where is anything besides bitter cold, pouring rain, wind, and just the ugliest weather EVER. I feel like why even get out of bed. I shower, put on make-up, do my hair, wear my cute shoes, open my front door and receive a face full of water. Close the door. Trudge back upstairs, dripping, and start all over again. Remove make-up, put hair in a bun, put on industrial strength waffle stomper shoes and head out. Really, why bother.

Why does waxing feel like I am being burned alive? I'm not sure which is worse the hot, molten lava wax, or those small but incredibly deadly tweezers. Good Lord, those tweezers hurt. Yank, Yank, Yank. I cringe just remembering. Then cover me in boiling oil, add tape, pat down, grab and Yank off! Oh, Sure, today I look fine and am glad I did it, but yesterday I was learning some new swear words. Went to lunch with the kid afterwards, who stated I had a very red face. All I could think about was you wouldn't be red if you had just gone through what I did, You would be DEAD. Being that guys are giant babies about pain. I just smiled.

Low Flow Toilets. The logic is seriously lost on me. How do you save water if the tissue you just took your eye make-up off with, needs four separate flushes to even attempt to go down the drain? Last week I made the mistake of trying to flush two tissues and a cotton ball. I paid for my error with a date with a plunger. I know, you are thinking "What a fun house you have. You truly are living a life dreams are made of. "

So there ya go! Random bits of excitement in this life I lead. Today I need to get ink for the printer. Pay bills. Wash clothes. The fun never stops.