Karma Gods

I have done something in my past to really piss off the karma gods!

I feel like I am in the ring with a heavy weight and I was simply a passerby who got thrown in the mix for fun. I am not having fun while I am getting my ass kicked on a daily basis.

Making a new life is all well and good. I'm enjoying my part of it. What I don't enjoy is the remnants of the old one. Still having to deal with a freak of nature most days almost brings me to my knees. Bills aren't getting paid. The house isn't getting listed with a real estate agency. Though he did find time to have a bbq with people he met on line and someone named Tangerine.

So we are tied together like two rabid dogs. I know it won't be like this forever, eventually the divorce will be final, the decree will show up and I can finally be finished with the biggest moron to walk the earth. But Oh My God, it is a slow process. And a very frustrating one.

The worst part isn't all of the aggravation or bizarre behavior. No, it is the feeling that maybe he was like this from the very beginning and I didn't notice it. Or I somehow caused it. And then I added a kid to the equation. What will be the repercussions for him? I worry the most about this. I try and run a calm, orderly, loving home. Dinners, rules, humor, pets, and a ton of love. All of this I provide in huge quantities in the hope that it will offset some of the negatives. Who knows if it will work. I hope and pray it will.

I hold firm to the belief that I will come out the other side battered and weary but ultimately stronger and taller. None of us know what the future holds for us. Right now mine holds chaos and uncertainty. But it won't always.

I just hope that the change comes a little bit quicker.