Dreaming of cars

Since I can't afford anything these days. I went and looked at new cars today.

When I was younger, I drove a camaro. First a nice vintage one and then a nice new one. Both standard transmissions and Oh! so cool. Then being a parent took over and I switched to an SUV.

Parents, I found out, didn't want their kids riding around in a muscle car. So, I sold out and bought a SUV and I have never looked back. Until today. I'm done with field trips and huge trips to the supermarket. Oh sure, I still have the dogs but surely they can fit in the back seat. I love the feel of an SUV in the winter. The ability to take on everything in my path. It just doesn't have the cool factor.

I think I want the cool factor. The feel of power. The fun of shifting. The feel of the thrill. The feel of being reckless and throwing caution to the wind. An SUV says "Hey! I'm dependable, predictable, safe." I want the car that screams "Fun, witty, lives life on the edge."

I want to do something that doesn't seem like something I would do. That people will shake their heads in disbelief that I have chosen to live my life with such a devil-may-care attitude. I turn 46 next Monday. It will be a hard birthday. Times are tough for me right now and I worry about everything and anything. The adult I am right at this second, is not the adult I want to be long term.

Maybe dreaming of a black car with a manual transmission and the ability to head south for a road trip, is just what an almost 46 year old female needs. That and a lot of horsepower under the hood. I feel the need for speed!