The way to go.

I enjoy being single.

I enjoyed being married, in the beginning. I like being single more than I liked being married.

Being alone has never really bothered me, whereas being with someone else does (did) bother me. Someone to answer to, someone to decide things with, always another opinion, another argument, another agenda. Oh sure, it is a give and take kind of thing, but sometimes it is a tiring way to live. I don't miss that. I miss other things but they have become fewer and fewer over time. In fact it is hard some days to even REMEMBER what I miss.

Some people need, well, people. I happen to not be one of them. I like me much more than I like most people. I have friends here in town, friends to go to lunch with, friends to gossip with, friends to do book clubs with (even though I TOTALLY DESPISE book clubs and generally have taken to learning how to doze with my eyes open) friends to throw parties with, work at the food bank together. All the things one needs friends for, I have that. I just choose not to partake much.

It just doesn't thrill me like it seems to thrill most people. I have lots to do in my life and I prefer to just get on with it. If left to my own devices, I am busy and happy. But mostly happy. Maybe I was raised by wolves (if you knew my parents you would know that it is not beyond the realm of possibilities). Whatever the case is, people don't add to my day to day existence.

When I was in counseling I brought this up, was it a bad thing? a good thing? just a thing? The counselor seemed unperplexed by this fact. Can I be social? yes. Can I get along within the confines of society? yes. Do I always want to? absolutely not. We moved on to harder therapy questions.

Still within my town, it is the question I am regularly asked " Are you dating?" "Have you found a man?" " Are you looking to get married again? live with someone? have a long term relationship?" It is almost like being alone and happy is wrong. Quick, find someone, anyone. Get on with it, you are not getting any younger you know. Get back in the relationship cycle, show everyone that you are fine, that you have moved on and up, that you have bounced back.

I don't really care for it. Having another relationship doesn't say "Hey, look it wasn't me that made my marriage not work." Just like not having a relationship doesn't say "Hey, look it was me that made my marriage not work. I can't find anyone that is how bad I am."

I date, I enjoy it well enough. I'm funny, witty, intelligent, can hold up my end of a conversation. Sometimes it is enjoyable to have the companionship for a couple of hours, it is just more enjoyable to go home to my house, my routine, my life. All mine, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Yep, for me Single is definitely the way to go.