Oh Wild One!

So, the vacation is going fantastic. The weather was perfectly horrible when we arrived but now it is lovely, so we have forgiven Winter for being such a giant pain in the ass.
It is a different way of living down here and it is always such an adjustment when I first arrive. Things are very slow and since I move at a fast wicked pace, it takes time to sloooooow down. After a while, you can't move fast even if you wanted to. Your body becomes accustomed to a less frantic pace. You breathe deeper and find that you can daydream for longer periods of time.

The first few nights I don't sleep well. The city noises that soothe me, are not here. No city buses, or cars, no airplanes flying over, no house parties. Here it is the waves crashing on the beach and until morning, that is it. The morning is a different story altogether. Here the day wakes up alert and anxious to get a move on. The gulls start out by screaming their wishes that the catch of the day will be heavy. The cars and trucks carrying the surfers arrive and laughter about the size of the waves carry up to my bed. Parents on vacation take to the beach in search of shells and groggily follow behind happy, energized children. Happy voices ring out. Dogs bark at kelp, crabs and a multitude of birds.

I pour a cup of coffee and contemplate my day. The ocean is mesmerizing and soothing, back and forth, in and out, it goes. Always the same and yet, always different. I make a list and forget it. I sit on the back deck and think Jimmy Buffett songs in my head. I drink more coffee and watch the dog sleep in the sun. I watch him twitch and wiggle in a dream about the time he found a deer in his back yard. How he had wanted us to let him keep it but how we explained to him that he was not up to the arduous task of deer maintenance. His face registered disappointment when we opened up the back yard gate and it bounded away. He has never really forgiven us.

The ocean is beautiful, wild and oh so therapeutic. It restores me. Gives me faith, hope and peace. I like that.
We walk into town and shop the little shops. Eat lunch and enjoy each others company. I see the moment and am happy that I am here. Even with the bad stuff. Even with the uncertainty of the future. Even with the changes that are coming at me fast and furious. I feel blessed.

I feel sadness that the man I married threw all this away so easily. He didn't see the wonderful life we had built. But I did. And I do.

I think that being down here has reminded me how truly fortunate I am. Because when the wild, stormy weather hits, it makes you appreciate the sunny, calm days that will follow. Good and bad, it all flows together. I know good times are getting ready to flow my way. I will appreciate them all the more this time around.