Hugs all around

Today was my last day of therapy. I doubt I am really all the way fixed but I am well on my way.

Plus, my therapist is going on maternity leave, so it was a good time to end. I will probably pick up some more sessions in September when the kid heads to college.

So I don't know if Wednesday will be the day of pain anymore. It may become the day of going to a movie, a day of reading, a day of anything goes. It seems exhilarating! I celebrated with a day of coffee and a lovely piece of lemon loaf.

Tasty! I really wanted a cupcake but I guess the entire Seattle area did as well, since I couldn't find one. Lemon loaf was second choice. Poor lemon loaf, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

My therapist hugged me and said she was proud of all the work I had done and how far I had come. My doctor also spends quite a bit of time hugging me. I am not a hugger by nature. In fact, I am not a toucher by nature.

I think it has something to do with how I was raised. My family was not a feel good family. We were more like a don't do better than your parents because you will be consider uppity and will need to be ripped right back down family. Praise wasn't handed out. I can't remember the last time I was hugged by my parents. It was just the way it was.

The kid I hug all the time, even if I have to tackle him to do it. I say I love you all the time. His father will offer to shake his hand, as if to say "Hey! nice doing business with ya." He is strange that way (and many other ways that we will save for another day).

So I am always a little taken aback when someone hugs me. What is the hugging protocol? How long is too long? Where do arms go? It is all confusing to me. I like things to be written down, instructions to be known to all parties involved.

My therapist asked before she hugged me, my doctor never does. The first time my doctor hugged me, I almost injured myself leaping backwards. I'm sure it seemed rude but I actually had no idea it was coming my way. I need to plan for things, especially touching things. It is my way. Now I am used to it and know it is coming at the end of each doctor visit.

I am almost comfortable with the doctor hugs. The first few times it was like she was hugging a fence board. I just stood there, immobile and slightly terrified. Now I am no cooked noodle but I am not ramrod straight either. A few more years and I should be almost normal. Well, in the hugging department anyway.

Now I think I will go and hug the dog. I would hug the kid but this is finals week and that will be like hugging a very pissed off grizzly bear. No matter how much strides I have made in the hugging department, I am so not ready for that.