Summer

Rain. Oh my god, the rain. It is lasting forever. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, we are used to the rain. Rain clouds, drizzle, rain, rain jokes, moss, mold, rain, mildew, wet, damp, soaked, drowned, rain. If it is a rain product, we have seen it. Felt it. Lived in it.

The days now are filled with it. Endless. Oh, so gray. So dreary. So tiring. Puddles, mud, wet smelly dogs, dirty floors. Oh, it just surrounds me. And I am so exhausted by it.

We have one day of no rain and I spend the entire day outside on the back deck, in the cold, trying to fill up on sun. Enough sun to keep me going. Trying to remember what summer looks like. Is it dry? Pretty? Filled with colors other than so many shades of gray? I swear I can't remember summer. The rains, the drizzle, the downpours, they return, again and again.

I turn on lights inside the house at 2:00 in the afternoon. It is dark and dreary by 4:00. I am ready for bed before dinner. I feel my energy level slip lower and lower into the nothing regions. I eat snacks. I watch way too much television. I doze on the couch. I forget my own name.

I know summer will return. But oh how it goes by so fast, while the dreary wet winter lingers on with a super glue grip.

*Sigh*